Rules Are Meant to Break

Ouch! That sounds dangerous.  That is not allowed.  I mean, you have been taught to mind the rules, to color within the lines.  

I know some of you who enjoy crossing your t’s and dotting your lowercase j’s are already breaking in to a cold sweat right now.

        I’m even starting a new tab in my blog, just to break the composition rules I learned in high school 😃

Seriously, I want to discuss with you how I think about rules.  I want to show you a bigger perspective of how I see rules.  

Rules are meant to break

I see a difference between a rule and a principle.  A rule is a regulation that has been defined by people, from past experience.  A principle is a fundamental truth that gives basis for a belief in conduct in life.  So, I am not advocating against breaking principles that guide our life. Principles are beliefs in God, in how we treat people, how we treat ourselves and conduct ourselves.  

I am landing more on challenging the status quo.  I am asking that you don’t be confined to what the set directions have always been.  

This philosophy comes from my personality naturally.  I have always been a “what if” person, a “why not” person.  When I see a goal I want to reach or a dream I have that I am passionate about, and I am told by people that we are limited to the rules, my natural response is to ask “but what if?”, or “why can’t we?”  For some reason, I get pleasure out of thinking how I can find a work-around, so that I can reach beyond what has been done before and chart a new path.  I see a particular rule as a barrier that others could not get over, so they stopped there.  I see it as my job to get over the barrier, to reach higher and farther.

This reminds me of the man who re-invented the technique for the high jump in the Olympics.  Dick Fosbury in 1968 brought a very different, unconventional technique to the sport.  He jumped backwards and arched his back in a way that he could clear the bar higher than others.  It became so successful, they named the technique the Fosbury Flop.  It is still the new “rule” of high jumping practiced to this day.

When I studied music, I mainly studied classical music.  I loved classical music, and studied the great composers like Mozart, Beethoven, Debussy and Bach.  This helped me form a construct of how music worked, how music was built through chords, time signatures, and key signatures.  But I remember being introduced to jazz music in high school.  I remember hearing one “rule-breaking" teacher say to me…

You learn all of the rules in music so that you can break them

What? Learn all of the rules so you can break them? What did that mean? Does that mean I can play notes that are outside the key of the song? Does that mean I can use a different scale in a passage? Wow - that means I can create new voicings, new harmonies.  That means I don’t have to compare my musical arrangement with someone else’s.  I can not just study composers, I can BE a composer.

Let’s re-visit rules.  Rules are not bad.  They are very good.  They were created by someone in the past who learned something and then did us the favor of drawing a road map for the rest of us to follow.  That is helpful - very helpful.  Thank goodness for people who learned something and took the time to help the rest of us.  But most of us “worship” the rules.  We bind ourselves to the rules, like we are hanging on to them for dear life! In order to adhere to the defined rules, we stop reaching for greater effectiveness.  A win for us becomes abiding by the rules, not having greater impact.

Let’s get practical in how breaking the rules will help us:

Budgets

At the Movies sets and designs are off the charts this year at Stuart Campus!

Budgets are meant to bust.  At work, if you are doing a project and given a budget, don’t just figure out how you can stay under budget; think of how you can make the project the best you ever have! Think competition - “our project will be the best one of all!” If your focus is to make your work high quality, highly creative, highly effective, and you happen to go over budget, guess what? They will likely raise your budget!  You might think you will be punished, but the CEO is actually looking for rule-breakers, for out-of-the-box thinkers.  They won’t tell you that, but that is how they think! Do such a great job that they want to give you more resources.

Experiments

I took a chance inviting Congressman Mast to church to help celebrate our country - was so delighted he came!

In most businesses, there are defined rules for how things are done.  The bigger an organization gets, the more institutionalized it becomes.  The natural life cycle is that ideas become fewer, creative thinking diminishes, and automation ensues.  What is desperately needed (but rarely is stated publicly) is experimentation.  When you and your team block out thinking time to ask good questions like “what if?” or “why not?”, fresh creativity begins to flow.  When the team takes time to ask themselves “how do we take this to another level?”, they begin priming the pump of their creative minds.  It’s risky, it’s messy, it’s unmanagable - it’s genius!   Be willing to try just one of the great ideas that come out of these sessions.  Be willing to be criticized by the rule-followers.  Test your idea, give it a try.  Good things always come from trying - you will learn something, and it may just get you out of a rut.

Work Flow

For our men's event, we thought creatively how we could use our beautiful property at Christ Fellowship - guys loved it!

Do you have your staff meeting in the same office room on the same day? Are your meetings with your people predictable? When is the last time you had an outside speaker come invest in your team? Is everyone in the office doing the same work over and over? I would challenge you to assess your work environment with your team around you.  While you may be responsible for getting the work done, maybe there is a way you can spice up HOW it is done and WHERE it is done.  If you are a rule follower and may have difficulty getting outside the rigidness of your current state, you need to invite one or two people in to your office and ask them honest questions. 

What could make this more fun?

What could make this fresh for our people?

What do we need to get a spark in to our work flow?

What will get us thinking differently than we currently think?

Don’t be afraid of the responses.  And don’t think you have to react or change to every thought.  Something good will come from these conversations.  It will test the rules to see if they are guiding life principles, or just a rule that has been instituted in the office and needs to be updated.

The big idea here is to bust through convention, to bend or break rules that may look important, but actually may just be a limit to you and your team reaching a greater level of joy and effectiveness

Rules are meant to break

What Do You Want?

Everybody wants something.  Every one of us have desires.  We want to get somewhere in our life, we want to progress and reach the level of success that we are hoping for.

However, most of us spend a lot of time talking and interacting with others, but after the exchange we find ourselves no further along toward reaching our goal.  

I want to share something I have learned that has really helped me in my pursuits and my objectives.  In every conversation I have, In every interaction I am faced with, in every meeting I am a part of, I always prepare ahead of time by first answering this question:

What do I want?

I first take time to stop and force myself to work through these issues:

What is it I really want out of the interaction with this person?

What is a reasonable expectation to hope for out of the conversation?

What do I hope to accomplish out of this meeting?

I’m talking about making every interaction INTENTIONAL.

Most of us go in to interactions with people with our most primal desire to be heard, to be understood.  We FEEL BETTER when we have shared our heart.  If we have conflict with the other person, or if the other person has hurt us, we start from a place of emotion and prejudice of how the person makes us feel.  We are too close to the situation that we cannot see objectively beyond the hurt to see the path to progress ahead.

I see this in team meetings as well.  A lot of people share what they see, what they experience.  Others share big ideas and talk about what they used to do in their previous organization. Most share their frustrations or challenges they are dealing with.  Others who are task-oriented tend to rush the conversation by just getting the specifics of the upcoming event or task that they feel responsible for.  They want to know how many shirts to order, which songs are picked, what time to show up.

All of these feelings and all of these tendencies are not bad - at all.  They are natural, they are healthy to share and to express.  To ignore these and just cut to the chase in every interaction would be denying people the opportunity to connect and to relate in a healthy way.  By all means, there is a time and place where people should be able to share their feelings, experiences, and acquire key information.  

My point is to make sure to not miss the MOST IMPORTANT reason for the meeting - that is, to not leave the interaction with the person or leave the meeting with the team without the desired outcome.

I have learned this when I have had to meet with a difficult person about something that wasn’t going right, or was stuck.  I found myself frustrated with them.  And because I am a more outspoken person, I could easily give them a piece of my mind.  I could easily make them feel my pain in the situation.  However, this wisdom-skill of restraint, discernment and intentionality forced me to ask myself before the meeting: 

What do I want from this?

What is the favorable Outcome?

Asking this forced me to be strategic in how I directed the conversation.  To get what I wanted, I had to help them get what THEY wanted.  We call this a WIN - WIN.  

For someone that has hurt me or offended me, my reaction is to maybe hurt them back, or to be defensive and close up myself emotionally.  But when I realize what I really want is healing in the relationship and health moving forward, I go in to the conversation with tenderness, with a desire to first listen to them, and to share my feelings of what is important to me.  I surround everything I say with honor, love, affirming, believing the best about them, while clarifying the hurt or the offense, so I ensure that it won’t continue happening.

When I lead a meeting with a team, I state at the beginning what the purpose and what the desired outcome is.  I clarify the time duration of the meeting and I always start with a brief coaching on the proper mindset we all need to have as we begin sharing and discussing.  And while I allow for plenty of sharing, brainstorming and even fun, I constantly bring re-focus to the conversation.  I rarely do this in a harsh, directive way.  Rather, my style is to ask a leading question, either to the group, or to call someone out to ask their opinion.

Expectations

In all of these scenarios mentioned, one thing to define and to declare is your expectation.  And when you say it, say it clearly, and slowly.  You may need to say it a few times in the conversation, both at the beginning and then repeated towards the conclusion.  Most of the time, I also give it in writing in the meeting.  To do this, I first have had to first take time to really think “What do I want? What is truly important?” If you are realistic, and if you understand that people are a work in progress, then you reduce some of your ideas and dreams down to what is achievable and reachable for this person or this team.  In dealing with a difficult or hurtful person, you realize you may not be best buddies, but how can you understand eachother so as not to push eachother’s hot buttons.  For a team, how can you challenge them to stretch to great things, but break down the big goal in to bite-size, incremental steps.

Action Steps

Sharing Expectations clarify the focus of the mission.  Assigning action steps give legs so that the mission can get moving.  Give assignments to both you and your people as you come out of the conversation.  And then commit to a written deadline that you will personally follow up on.  This brings accountability to all parties.  When you set action steps, you give more credibility to what you have shared or advocated for by acting on what you are saying - and…to what they were advocating for.  Too many of us are all talk, but not much walk.  And we wonder why our voice is not heard.  I have learned that if I want a voice at the table, I first must BRING SOMETHING to the table.  I hate to use this analogy….but it’s kind of like going to a Poker Table in Las Vegas and sitting down asking for cards to join in on the game.  The dealer is going to stare at you and say “place your bets.” If you want to play, you have first got to pay.

Intentionality

To get where you want to go, you have do what is necessary to get there.  Resist your need to always be heard, to be understood.  Restrain yourself from trying to “win” every argument or control the conversation or meeting.  Rather, always keep focused on your intended outcome.  Only say things that help people move toward that outcome.  Intentionality uses more of positive affirming and less of negative conflict.  Intentionality paints a picture of how great the future can be when we work together, not rehearsing the hurt or the failures over and over.  Intentionality asks more questions allowing space for other people to actually figure it out for themselves, rather than spelling it all out for them.  To be intentional in your meeting, you carefully select every word and choose the right time when to speak it.  Some of the most successful meetings I have been in is when I said very little.  I let people get all of their feelings and ideas out, and then concluded with:

1. Affirming their feelngs and ideas
2. Re-focusing the conversation on the shared goal
3. Stating Expectations
4. Making Assignments
5. Asking one or two leading questions to spark their creativity on how they can accomplish those assignments to meet the expectations

In every interaction you walk in to, take time to decide what your desired outcome is.  It must be a WIN - WIN for you and the other person.  Say things that help you both move forward toward the shared goal.  

Know What You Want

If you desire to lead, you MUST HAVE this

I love people who step out to lead.  Nothing ever happens good without good leadership.  This is true in a business and it is true in our church.  

Most of us can describe what a great leader does, what they look like: bold, strong, outspoken, courageous.  They are action oriented.  They are willing to take risks.  Leaders share the vision and lead others to accomplish the vision.  Leaders delegate responsibility - they are “large and in charge.”

However, there is one essential ingredient that a leader must have...one that you might not think of immediately.  If he does not embody this critical characteristic at his very core, it does not matter how bold, how brave, how articulate he is.  If he does not carry this vital piece in how he leads, he will soon lose his privilege to lead.  What could be so important? What could be so detrimental?

every leader must have:

Humility

I love this verse in the book of James:

James 4:10

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Humble yourself.  

The author of this Biblical passage shows the path to leadership.  It’s a formula - a holy equation.  If you willingly humble yourself, God will lift you up.  God WANTS to use you.  He WANTS you to step up and lead, to fulfill your divine calling.  But it starts with taking the first important step of humility.  

You see, humility has to happen IN you.  Others cannot make you have humility.  It is a mindset you must embrace.  My mom used to teach me growing up: "better to humble yourself than to have God do it for you.”  Great wisdom.  

Humility is often misunderstood.  Some of us try to display humility by always putting themselves down.  But that’s not humility.  

A great definition I have heard on Humility is:

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself.  It is thinking about yourself less.”

Here are some practical aspects of what it means to be a humble leader:

Humility begins with:

Listening before talking

If you are a passionate person, you will naturally want to share your vision and your passion with others.  But humility listens first to those around you.  When you actively listen to others using your eyes, your body language, and showing that you are not in a rush to move on, you communicate that you are interested in them.  People will feel valued by you.  You show them that what they think and feel is important to you.  When people feel respected by you, they will consider what you have to say.

Serving before leading

You may have leadership skills; you may already have a vision and a strategy that you are ready to implement.  But a humility mindset understands that in order to earn the right to lead, you must always start by serving.  Leadership is not a “top down” structure.  Jesus taught an “upside down” structure.  The Leader should serve and support his team.  In my leadership at Christ Fellowship, I have learned that even if I am the Campus Pastor who has oversight over the entire Campus, I still find opportunities to put myself in SERVING ROLES under some of my leaders.  Many times, I will let my leaders lead our teams and I simply join the team and start helping.  Humility dictates that sometimes I will FOLLOW, not always LEAD.  In fact, when you serve others and follow a leader, you actually are MODELING how to FOLLOW! This is powerful.  

Another way I model serving and following is how I serve and follow Pastor Todd and Pastor Julie Mullins, our Lead Pastors at Christ Fellowship.  I love them.  But I don’t just love them - I honor them by following them and serving them.  I have had people tell me how amazed they are with the  healthy team culture they experience at Christ Fellowship.  They share how they have dealt with hurtful church splits or people politics, and then they ask how Christ Fellowship as stayed united.  I tell them that our Lead Pastors have always modeled humility, unity, and they focus our team on our mission.  Everything starts with leadership at the top.  Our Pastors, our leaders and our people take their cues in what they see Pastor Todd and Pastor Julie do, and the result is humility, unity and focus on our mission:

to Impact our World with the love and message of Jesus: Everyone, Everyday, Everywhere.  

Learning before teaching

Leaders have a lot to say.  And when a leader is working with his team, he often knows what he wants to teach his team.  It is important to invest  in your people.  But, as a leader, you will be limited to what you can teach, if you are not learning yourself continually.  

Leaders are Learners. Pastor Todd taught me “Leaders are Readers.” When I started 8 years ago under Pastor Todd as a new Campus Pastor, I quickly embraced his wisdom.  I had not been much of a reader, but soon realized that I needed to grow in my skills and in gaining insight.  What I learned as I began to read was that I would have something fresh that I could then use to help my team.

It takes incredible humility to be willing to learn from people different than you, younger than you, or maybe even UNDER your leadership, and asking them questions.  Leaders often want to give off a confidence that they know what they are doing.  And while confidence is important, showing a willingness to learn takes courage.  Your team will respect you for your authenticity to grow.  Again, you are modeling what you want your people to embrace.

If you feel called to a great vision, if you are ready to step up and start leading, first embrace this foundational character trait of Humility.

Humility is the door that opens the path to promotion

Pressure

Performance creates pressure

Preparation takes hard work

Sharpening takes intentional practice

Improving takes conditioning

Athletes are familiar with these terms.  They are passionate about their sport, and they play to win.  Athletes don't play casually.  They want to taste victory - they want to win the championship!

Why is it that in our work place many times we show up casually, going through a check list of work that needs to be done, hoping that lunch time will come quickly? Why is it that when we feel pressure to perform, we respond with excuses or complaining that the demands being put on us are too much, they are unfair? When we run in to obstacles, or when the goals seem un-reachable, do we just throw our hands up in the air and give up easily?

I know your work place has it’s share of frustrations.  I know that there are parts of your job that you are not too excited about.  And when the boss brings goals that you must hit, you immediately feel pressure to perform.  In your mind, the last thing you need is more PRESSURE.

On the contrary, I want to challenge your thinking and tell you that PRESSURE is exactly what you need.  Pressure to perform, pressure to do what it takes to win, to hit your goals.  

You see, athletes USE pressure to push them.  Athletes understand that pressure is a necessary part of helping them to achieve their goal.  An athlete will push through the training, will learn new skills, will feel uncomfortable in order to perform effectively on the field.  An athlete will accept their coach shouting at them and confronting them to get better, to correct mistakes, and to not give up.

  

Certainly, there can be too much pressure…for sure… particularly if the pressure comes from negative thinking like self doubt and judgement.  Certainly, you need to self evaluate to see if you have rested well, if you have filled up in healthy ways through great relationships, through getting encouragement, through just having fun and play.  

But most of us see any pressure that comes at work as negative, as attacking us personally.  Rather…think like an athlete.  See your work as your mission, as the place where you can accomplish great things.  When the pressure comes, use it to make you better.  Respond to it by evaluating, planning, preparing, and then work hard! As my kids would say “kill it!"

Remember, It’s not about perfection, it’s about progress.  

It’s not about comparison, it’s about personal improvement.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t reach as high as someone else.  But, on the other hand, don’t give yourself a pass when the pressure comes to perform.

At the beginning of your work week, get your mind in the right place.  Prepare yourself mentally that you are going to start each day by:

1. evaluating your past performance
2. plan to work on the right tasks that will yield the most success
3. prepare by sharpening your skills
4. start working really hard toward hitting you goals - now! not later, not after you read through e-mails or talking to your co-worker

Push yourself.       Lean in.            Focus.  

Do your reps.        Get better.       Get faster.  

Work like an athlete.  Use the pressure to perform better! You will “kill it!!"

How to Recruit

So you hear a lot about leadership, about the characteristics of being a leader.  

But a leader needs a team around him.  He must get great people to join his cause in order to accomplish his dream.  

How do you do that, you ask? I know, there isn’t a lot out there to show you how to actually GET your team.  I want to help you with the HOW on effectively recruiting great people to be a part of your team.  

First, let me tell you what DOES NOT WORK in recruiting people:

Sign ups

We think we can catch a lot of people by simply putting a sign up table and a sign up sheet near the entrance.  But sign up sheets and a person “manning the table” does not inspire people to enlist.  And even if a few do sign up, they often are not the RIGHT PEOPLE.

Making an announcement

People are not drawn by your information, they are compelled by your inspiration.  So, if you do ever get the privilege to share from a platform to many people, attach vision and enthusiasm to your appeal for people to serve.  Keep it short and to the point.  Focus 80% of your talk on the WHY and 20% on the WHAT and WHEN.  With this being said, I see even the greatest vision casters give a compelling, inspiring appeal for people to join their team from platform, but they still have very few, if any join.  They have videos and pictures and stories…they share with great conviction.  People laugh, and cry and are moved…but walk right out the door without enlisting to the vision!

Recruiting

The best leaders are not afraid to go up and personally recruit people to be on their team.  But even this can be ineffective and frustrating.  Why are they getting so many “NO’s?”  It reminds me of the funny commercial of the guy calling his friends to help him move to his new house, but his friends give him excuses:

“I’m all tied up"

“I’m buried in work"

People are not interested in doing more work - for you! 

Now, let me tell you what DOES WORK in recruiting people:

Think of recruiting people on your team as a 7 layer process.  Just like there are many layers to an onion, I am suggesting that there are several layers to effectively recruiting great people to your team.  I have identified 7 layers:

1. Introduce - before you even think about recruiting anybody, you must first start with the introduction.  Learn their name.  Let them know who you are.  Ask simple questions to find out who they are.  Don’t talk much about yourself and, for sure, don’t even think about recruiting them.  Don’t even share about you vision.  You show great value in people when you take time to know their name and their family.  Meet the person first.

2. Connect - in your second interaction (maybe the second week) ask more questions.  Again, it’s about the person, not about you.  Ask questions to find something that you have in common with them.  One rule of building a great team is to recruit people who are different than you - they think different, have different personality, have different skills and background. Connecting with someone who is different than you is a major challenge. The key is to keep asking questions about them until you find common ground.  Example: “where are you from? you grew up in West Virginia?? Wow! I love West Virginia!! I have been on vacation there with my family the past 4 years!!”  This is a great technique in connecting with people.   When you find a common ground with people, you have just opened a door to access to their life.

3. Build Relationship - as the days and weeks move on, find ways to build on the relationship you have started.  Show up to events that are important to them - a graduation, a funeral, a sporting event.  Another way to build the relationship is what I call POWER PLAY.  Find an opportunity to play together with them.  Basketball, checkers, cards, video games, etc.  For me, I love inviting people to play ping pong with me.  I create an atmosphere of competition.  People LOVE competition.  I use ping pong as my POWER PLAY to build great relationships.

4. Show the Need - I bet you can’t believe that you have to first do #1,#2, and #3 before doing #4!! If you have taken time to be intentional, now you can share your vision from the platform.  Your platform may be on a stage as a public speaker.  It may be Social Media.  It may be in a car with a group of people driving somewhere.  The key to sharing your vision is to first show the need.  Help them first see the problem, the conflict.  Great vision casters don’t tell people “we are going to build a childrens home”.  They first start with “my heart is burdened for our community where there are children who have parents that are addicted to drugs.  How are these kids going to grow up without healthy parents to teach them, love them, provide for them?” When you ask good questions, you activate people’s minds to contemplate the problem and be a part of the solution.  What you really want people saying to you is “you know, we need to do something to help these kids.”  Show the need … but don’t recruit just yet.

5. Affirm - somewhere through all of these steps, you need to affirm people.  Catch them doing good and call them out on it.  Brag on people.  Go up to them and call out their uniqueness and their gifts.  Be specific.  Don’t just compliment them, and don’t do it too much.  Pick the right moment and think of the right thing to say.  Leaders care more about the person than they do the task.  Speak in to their life. This fills their tank.  Call out the best in them and show them their potential for more.

6. Invite - now comes the recruiting part…although I prefer the term INVITE.  “Recruiting” feels like we are drafting people to go to war.  Invite feels like we are letting people come to our fun party.  BTW - make your vision feel like a party.   No one wants to work, everyone wants a party - fun.  Of course, a great vision takes great work.  

But you can create a culture of fun, party, relationship, competition.  You can make a landscaping job feel like a party.  You can make building a church in Haiti feel like a fun competition.  You can make preparing for an event be lots of fun.  So, invite the person personally to your vision.  Make the invitation specific.  Tell them what you need them to do, to own.  Tell them the time you want them to show up, how long it will take.  And make sure to tell them how much fun it will be and how awesome it will be to accomplish the vision!


7. Close the Deal - …and you thought it was done with the #6 Invite 😃 no sir.  Maybe it is my aggressive, forward personality, but I like to close the deal, right then and there.  Don’t just stop with the Invitation.  Set the challenge and ask for the answer.  “Can I count on you?” “are you ready to step in this week?”.  Don’t be discouraged if some are not ready just yet.  Some people need to process a decision more than others.  Many times, these people are the RIGHT PEOPLE.  They are more committed.  Others will respond positively right in the moment - they are great too.  The point is that you need to bring the challenge to them.  People need to be challenged…even if at first they are taken back.  Later on, they will really appreciate being called up to step up.  

Recruiting is tough work.  It takes skill, timing, and a huge investment of your energy.  Don’t think you can just make an announcement and ask people to stop by your information table on their way out to lunch and expect to build a great team of passionate, skilled people.

Think like a hunter, not a gardener.

Get after it - go seek out the people you want, that you need to make a great team! They are out there.  Work dilligently and patiently through the 7 layer process to build a connection with these people and you will have a winning team!

---

Tune In

Have you ever been in the middle of a problem in your life and you wanted to know what God was doing? Or why God was allowing problems to happen to you?

For me, those are the times when God speaks the most clearly…IN the problem.  I want to GET OUT of the problem, but God wants me to GET THROUGH the problem. 

You see, God wants to teach you and me THROUGH the problem.  We just need to tune in to what He is wanting say to us, to teach us.

Problems get our attention

Sometimes God has to use a problem to get our focus; and there is nothing like frustration or desperation to turn us directly toward God.  We get so distracted with life and with our goals or concerns.  We do more talking than we do listening.  

My grade school teacher used to tell our class that God gave us one mouth and two ears…I think that’s what she said….I’m not sure…I wasn’t listening. :)) What God wants to say to us is MUCH MORE important than what we want to say.  We must tune in to Him.

Problems force movement

Sometimes God is wanting us to move to something new that He has prepared for us, but we won’t budge.  We get too comfortable and settled where we are - we don’t like change.  We get scared of the thought of something new or different.  The truth is, we long for something fresh, new and exciting - God has more for us, yet He knows that we need some help getting there.

Stress is not always a bad thing.  Some stress is actually healthy and necessary for us.  The definition of stress is to press in with the outcome of forcing movement.  Pressure will eventually force some kind of movement.  Some stress is especially good for teenagers.  

I know many parents nag their teenagers about getting a job to make money and learn responsibility.  However, parents become frustrated when their kids ignore their preaching and continue to sit in their rooms playing video games or spending hours on their smart phones.  These kids HEAR the urging to get a job, but they don’t FEEL the need.  Why would they? Their parents still provide them with an air conditioned, safe home with a bed, bathroom, electricity.  They assume that having a cell phone is a basic human right.  

You see, it’s only when that teenager has all of that taken away for a time that they begin to FEEL the pain of no home to go to, no A/C turned on. No clean bathroom.  All of the sudden, that teenager begins to panic, they get very uncomfortable, they develop a sudden urgency to find a job.  When they get desperate, they become quite innovative and creative.  They don’t quit until they find some job and they understand that they have to perform well at the job to keep the job.  Stress is a GREAT MOTIVATOR.  Stress gets us moving in the right direction.

Problems bring new perspective

Before a problem comes, we tend to look at our life the same way.  But problems or crisis bring an opportunity to see a new angle in our situation.  Our nature is to solve the problem, and when we get stuck, we start looking for other ways we can get around the problem.  

I love playing with the Rubik’s Cube - I am a bit of a nerd.  I remember in the 1980’s when I first tried to solve the Cube - impossible.  I admit I became so frustrated that I started peeling the colored stickers off and resetting them to make it look like I matched all of the sides.  Stupid.  Now in the computer age, I have been able to read the tutorial online and learn the algorithms on when and where to turn the Cube.  

I can solve it every time! I am so smart now! :)) JK.  But, it sure feels great to at least be able to solve the Rubik’s Cube.  (A point of comfort - nobody could really solve the cube without the algorithms.)

Your problem can push you to look at your situation differently, to learn, to grow.  You will eventually grow bigger and have a wider, wiser view of the situation - the problem will seem smaller.  You may not be able to “solve” the problem, but your perspective will grow and you will learn to work around it or over it and move on to the greater things God has prepared for your life.

Problems are painful - they get us discouraged and stuck.  However, we can tune in to God to see what He is saying to us and what He wants to do in us.  God is faithful to get you THROUGH the problem.  Hold on, be patient, be teachable and learn.  You will come out of your situation stronger and wiser.