How to Stay Healthy in Ministry

I love serving in our church with my wife, Kellie Pilot

If you have a passion for people, if you are drawn to help the hurting and to bless the broken, you likely have a calling on your life for ministry.  The word “minister” means “to serve.” The heart of God is to give and to serve, particularly to those who are poor, who are struggling, who are helpless.   We see God’s heart in the Bible:

Proverbs 19:2  Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

Isaiah 1:17    Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.

Matthew 25:35-40  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.

When you and I serve those in need, we touch the heart of God; we literally become the expression of God’s love.  

The challenge comes for us when we see the immense needs of people, and then realize that so many people have needs.  When you are built for ministry, the Holy Spirit of God gives you the divine ability to see opportunities to serve and to love.

I have this ability.  I see the need, and I love looking for ways to meet that need.  What I have had to learn, however, is how to manage caring for all of the people God shows me, with at the same time keeping healthy and balanced.  

I have some passionate people in our church who come tell me “I feel that God is calling me to be Pastor.” I have others who come and share with me a need with someone and then ask me “what should I do?”  The need is rarely just “they could use a few dollars” or “just say a quick prayer for them.” Usually it is intense issues with a broken marriage, drugs, homeless, no job, behind on their rent, abuse, or a combination of them all!

As I look in to the eyes of these passionate people who desire to serve others, I sense they are overwhelmed and lost.  “Pastor, what should I do?”

Let me share some thoughts that I have learned on how to effectively meet the needs of of people, yet stay healthy and balanced:

Sympathize, Don’t Empathize

Sympathy means you can relate with a person.  Empathy means you personally take on the pain of the person.  They are similar, but sympathy infers there is a separation between you and the person.  If you are built like me, you tend to feel the emotion and pain of others.  This is what draws you in to the situation, to reach farther than others, to stop everything in your life to do everything you can to help.  However, this idea of SYMPATHIZING has helped me to keep a healthy distance from the situation.  Why is this important? Because people like us who want to serve can easily get off balance with our lives.  We can get overwhelmed with many people, many needs.  To stay healthy and balanced in your own life, you need to have some boundaries in your emotions, boundaries in your life.  You can’t go deep with everyone.  I remind myself that I am not a Counselor.  One friend of mine who is a Counselor gave me great advice as to how she keeps herself separated emotionally from all of the hurts and problems of those she looks after.  She said “after I have met with the person, prayed with them and they walk out the door of my office, I imagine that their problems have walked out with them.  Otherwise, I take home the tension and weight of their problems with me, and my home can become toxic.” That is good advice! Sympathize, don’t Empathize.

Lead Them to Jesus

Say this to yourself: God is God.  I am not.  Remember that you cannot solve all of their problems.  When you hear their story and listen to their requests for money, for you time, for you to solve their problems, remember that the source of these problems is bigger than money, problems with marriage, nowhere to stay.  What they really need is a relationship with Jesus.  And they need to start doing what Jesus says to do, to get in to a church family and be a part.  That will get them in to the healthy place where their life will begin taking shape.  Remember that you are not the hero.  Jesus is.  As Christians, remember that we do not have to solve everyone’s problems and carry everyone’s burdens.  We are not good enough or strong enough.  If we try, we will find that we will be crushed by the weight of people’s needs.  

Our job is to lead them to Jesus

Our job is to show them the love and message of Jesus.  Yes, we can do things that will show His love through giving and serving.  But remember, we are partners with God to help people find Jesus! Take the pressure off of your shoulders to meet every need.  Do your part (which should be limited and appropriate), and let God do His part.

Serve Them Strategically

People will reach out to you at the most inconvenient times.  That is the nature of ministry. If we love people, we don’t see them as an interruption, but as an opportunity given by God to respond with love.  As a Pastor, my heart is that for every person that reaches out at Christ Fellowship, I aim to be the first responder.  As a Pastor, I wear many hats as I look after the church.  But I feel that my primary role is always to love and shepherd people.  Therefore, I am willing to stop anything I am doing in the moment and respond immediately to people.  I was taught the importance of responding to people immediately when they are in crisis.  50% of ministry is just showing up.

While I aim to be the first responder, I follow up with them by delegating to other capable leaders in my church.  I have worked hard to build a team around me who I have trained and who I entrust to minister to people.  I have found this formula has worked well for me, of being the first call, and then to direct the team to do follow up care.  This gives a beautiful expression to our church family that “my Pastor cares”, while also empowering other leaders to “be the Pastor.” 

Another way to serve people strategically is to leverage your weekend church service by re-directing your people with needs to attend.  Many people want time with you for counseling, for care.  I will re-direct their request by telling them that I can help them best if they will come to church services on Sunday.  That is where I have leaders and support systems to help them.  It’s amazing to me that people will sometimes make excuses as to why they can’t make it to church.  They can’t get a ride, they work, etc.  Some people expect to be helped on their terms and in their time.  As a ministry leader, you need to constrict the times you serve people for your safety and health.  You will learn the true nature of people’s needs and motives based on their response to your direction.  If they truly want your help, they will follow your direction.  If they make excuses or complain about the steps you are asking them to take, they really don’t want help.  Unfortunately, people must first experience pain and desperation in their situation before they are in a place to receive the help they need.

I stay healthy by having fun with friends and family

Never lose your passion for people.  Keep loving people the way Jesus would love people.  However, to stay healthy in ministry, you must use wisdom.  You want to be able to help many people over many years.  That only comes as you become more intentional in your approach with people that you see in need.

Don't Wait in Line

If you aspire to lead in some way, that is awesome! I love people with initiative, with drive to make an impact wherever they are called.  The Bible even says that desiring leadership is a good thing!

Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.

1 Timothy 3:1

Tom and Kellie Agulia - two of the best Servant Leaders at Stuart Campus!

However, I want to caution you on how you pursue leadership:

Don’t wait for the position before starting to lead

Most of us see leadership as a high position where we have a team of people under our authority.  We have a picture of a leader who stands on the platform teaching and giving directions that others should follow.  It could be easy to think that we cannot start leading until we have THAT.  So, we wait our turn in line hoping that one day we will be promoted to that high position.  

Here is the problem with that:

People do not follow a leader because they have position and platform.   People follow a leader who they RESPECT, who they LOVE, and who they TRUST.  

RESPECT

LOVE

TRUST

Pastor Clint and one of our team leaders, Amanda both have earned Respect, Love and Trust of their teams

These are 3 things that you can gain with people RIGHT NOW, right where you are, before you have ANY position of leadership.  That’s amazing to think that you don’t need to be standing on the platform to gain these things.  You don’t need employees under your direction.  You don’t need the title.  

Maybe you think that gaining the title gains you influence and power that you otherwise do not have with people.  And while it is true that the position does give you power to make decisions and to give directives to people, it gains you little influence.  You see, when you gain the position, you now have a difficult time wondering if people follow you because they WANT TO or because they HAVE TO.  You will have a more difficult time to know if you truly have gained people’s RESPECT, LOVE and TRUST.

Here is a big secret that I want to share with you about leadership:

You don’t need to wait in line for the position

You can lead TODAY with no position

It’s like when you are at the grocery store and you are ready to check out at the cashier station.  You likely are looking for the shortest line so you can get out of the store as quickly as possible.  If you have a big cart full of groceries, you have to stand in the normal line where there likely is a longer wait.

If you are like me, you love it when you just have 10 items or less, because that means you get to go through the Quick Check Out lane! It’s so much faster!

People think the position gains them influence and power. But the position comes with:

• problems to solve
• expectations to meet
• responsibilities to carry
• people to please

When you have no position, you carry few items:

• the problems are not your problems
• no expectations on you
• the responsibility is not yours to carry
• people are not looking to you 

Think about this: when you do not carry what the position comes with, you can still solve problems, you can carry some responsibility, you can exceed expectations in your current role, you can serve people.  When you hold the position and do these things, no one is impressed.  They say “well, that’s what they SHOULD be doing.  After all, they are in charge.” When you hold no position and do these things, people say “WOW! Look how they solve problems.  Look how they step in and carry responsibility.  Look how they serve people around them!  They are awesome.  They go the second mile!”

Pastor Ismael and his wife, Margarita lead through loving and serving people

Leading without having the position or platform is like walking through the “Quick Check Out Lane” at the grocery store.  It earns you people’s RESPECT, their LOVE, and their TRUST quicker than having the position gains you.  

Don’t lead with the motive of gaining position or platform.  Remember this:

Position is not given to lift you.

Position is given for you to lift up others around you.

Start leading today where you are at, before the position.  Stop leading through directing what you want others to do, and start leading through modeling what you want them to catch.

Pour Out

If you have been serving in some role for a long stretch, you eventually realize the strain it puts on you personally.  Whether you serve in your church in some way, or in your neighborhood or community organization, serving is demanding and draining.  Why? What is it about serving that is demanding and draining? Is it the hours of work? Is it the manual labor? Is it the preparation? 

I have found what contributes most to the demand and drain of serving is having to work with people.  It’s a paradox, because people bring the most joy and the most meaning to why we serve.  People are the REASON WHY we serve.  Yet, interacting with people can be frustrating, hurtful, and draining.  It is not the long hours that discourage people to serve.  It is not the manual labor that frustrates people.  On the contrary, manual labor actually energizes many people and gives them a sense of immediate accomplishment.  It is the process of working with and interacting with people that drains our battery fast.

I have written many blogs on leadership because leadership is all about working with people.  And while there are many great insights in to how to understand people better so you can work better with them, this blog is focused on the sacrifice of serving.

Serving Takes Sacrifice

I have to remind myself that there is a personal sacrifice in me serving where God has called me to.  Serving is not about me.  Serving is not about fulfilling me, although the benefit of serving is that it does bless me and grow me.  Serving, by it’s very definition is about giving yourself to others.  Serving is about accommodating people.  It is about seeking to understand people and then attempting to meet their needs.  Serving is about denying your own needs and preferences for a moment so that you can take a lower position of a servant to attend to the needs and preferences of others.  

The Apostle Paul was one of the first Church Leaders in History who helped establish many churches.  Paul wrote letters to other Church Leaders to give instruction and counsel that were later included in the Bible.  Paul, with all of his proven experience and Church authority understood the serving mindset and the price of serving.  

One of the letters Paul writes is to a young, up and coming Pastor named Timothy.  Timothy was being faithful leading and caring for people in a church Paul established in the city of Ephesus.  The Apostle was in prison at this stage of his life because of sharing the message of Jesus Christ.  The Apostle by this time had traveled throughout the world preaching, starting churches with people who became new believers.  The Apostle had served people all of his life since his conversion to following Jesus.  Knowing that he would likely be executed by the Romans, Paul wanted to give Timothy and other Church Leaders one final letter on the essence of leading people.  The Apostle Paul gave this charge:

2 Timothy 4

But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.  As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near.

What a picture of pouring our life out as an offering to God! If you have served faithfully, this will likely resonate with you.  When you truly serve consistently and faithfully, you literally pour out your life - your time, your gifts, your all to people.  You pour your life out at all times, not just when it feels good to you, not just when you understand the plan.  You serve when it becomes difficult, when it feels lonely, when it becomes heavy.  But you stay committed because you know you are called.  Like Paul, you are called to “fully carry out the ministry God has given you.”

Jesus Himself also used this analogy of pouring out in describing His life mission to His inner circle friends.   When Jesus was having a meal together with His Disciples, He knew soon He would be taken and beaten and killed by His enemies.  Jesus had enemies, not because He did anything wrong or selfish.  On the contrary, Jesus lived to serve others.  Jesus came to love the unlovable, to touch the untouchable.  He healed hurting people.  He forgave sinners.  Jesus brought a message of life and love.  But people in powerful positions were intimidated by Him, because He was turning people from traditional thinking.  Jesus was bringing freedom to people, and that endangered their power.  Jesus understood that there would be a sacrifice for his serving.  He would experience suffering for his serving.

Jesus used the bread and the wine at the table to illustrate the meaning of His life, to show the essence of what serving truly should look like:

Luke 22:20

..after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.”

The pouring concept really describes what serving feels like to me.   It is a complete surrender of self.  It is giving your all until you have nothing left to give.  It is giving yourself liberally, not holding anything back.

To pour out, you must empty yourself

But, here is the great thing about serving God!

You can never out-give God

When you pour out to people that you are called to serve, God re-fills you.  Jesus said:

“I am the Living Water.  whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life”
John 4

Proverbs 11:25 makes this promise:

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

What I have learned as I have given myself to serving God and serving people I am called serve is that there is a sacrifice in serving.  There is a pouring out of my life, my emotions.  Sometimes, the people I serve do not always appreciate what I do for them.  And they do not always give back to me.  However, as I approach God with my needs and my emptiness after serving, He ALWAYS fills me up, He ALWAYS satisfies my needs.

If you are serving faithfully, be encouraged.  Keep on serving.  Keep pouring out.  Give generously from your life - do not hold back thinking that you have to reserve some back for yourself.  Whatever you pour out will be poured back in to you.

You can NEVER out-give GOD!