Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The Fear of Rejection

Oh, the fear of rejection.  Anybody hate the fear of being rejected? I know that most people fear speaking in public  - not me.  My fear is being rejected.  I guess part of the fear of public speaking stems from the fear of rejection (that trick of imagining everyone out in the audience being in their underwear never worked for me anyway.)

I hate the feeling of being rejected.  Rejected for a job.  Rejected for a loan.  Rejected by friends.  Being rejected is worse than homework.  It hurts more than a deep cut.  The thought of being rejected has paralyzed me from moving forward.

The fear of rejection ALMOST kept me from developing a relationship with my wife, Kellie.  :)     Our story is beautiful and I cherish it.

We met in college at a party.  I noticed her immediately.  Not sure if she noticed me.  I had seen her before on campus.  She had a cool vintage Camaro.  She had pretty blonde hair.  She was hot! (still is.)
This was the actual party where we first met.  In this pic, I had NOT YET even talked to her 

I was trying to find a way to go over and talk to her at the party that night.  I would walk by close to where she and her friends were sitting, but ….. I had nothing - came up empty.  So, I would go back and sit down with my group.  By the end of the night, I was just about to give up, when… God did a miracle !  Kellie evidently needed a ride back to the college campus.  Her Camaro was not running, and her friend that drove that night wanted to stay longer at the party.  Kellie was desperate to find someone who could take her back.  She actually came up and asked if she could catch a ride with us.  I was driving that night and happily agreed :) (THANK YOU, MOM & DAD for giving me a car for college!) Once we were all in the car, I kept the conversation going.  I drove VERY CAREFULLY! I enjoyed EVERY SECOND of that car ride home with this beautiful girl.  

We quickly became friends and were hanging out together along with a big group of friends.  We had so much fun.  It was new, fresh, and exciting.  I was falling in love.  Finally, we had spent enough time together that she felt comfortable being alone with me.  We went out to eat, and then later went to a park at night near the college.  It was very romantic - just like the movies.  I felt that both of us were feeling something more for each other.  The mood was right.  The moon was full.  It was just as if we were two actors in a romantic movie - and my line was up to deliver - "Kellie, you are very special to me."  "Kellie, I want to express my feelings for you - I like you." …. whatever I should have said …. I didn't. :(  I was scared.

Poor Kellie, she was waiting.  She was patient.  She was making herself available to listen.  Finally, Kellie broke the ice and took the initiative.  "Matt, I want you to know that I really like you.  I am willing to start a relationship with you.  The ball is in your court if you want that."  

….   ….. that's ALL I needed to hear.  I gushed out my true feelings for her.  I shared my enthusiasm for how excited I was that she felt that way, because I felt that way.  Immediately I grabbed her hand, gave her a kiss, and the rest is history.  

That's a beautiful, meaningful story to me.  However, I kind of wish I could have told you a DIFFERENT version of the story.  One that has me taking a risk to share my true feelings to a beautiful girl.  It was the fear of being rejected; of feeling stupid; worse, being hurt.  

I have since learned to overcome the fear of rejection.  I have been able to stand up, hold on, and when necessary, share my feelings.  I have been able to take a stand when I knew that I am going against the tide.  I have been able to disagree when I knew it meant that it would make a relationship awkward.

It's not that rejection hurts any less - its still hurts.  It still stings.  But it feels good to know that I stood up for what I believed was true.  I was true to myself.

Don't let fear of rejection paralyze you.  Don't let fear of ANYTHING hold you back from taking risk, from moving forward in your life.

Let me leave you with this thought:

You are ACCEPTED by God.  

God has not rejected you.  He has initiated contact with you.  He is patiently waiting for you to respond to His gift of love. 

Colossians 1:19
For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel.

In this life, you will experience rejection.  But, the ONE person that will never reject you is God.  He accepts you AS YOU ARE, BEFORE you are fixed or put back together.  

Understand this VERY IMPORTANT POINT: 

God accepts you as you accept His Son, Jesus as your Lord and Savior.  

Jesus died on a cross for your sin and your shame.  We ALL have sinned (Romans 3:23), so Jesus Christ took our place of condemnation (2 Corinthians 5:21). 

Jesus was rejected so that we could be accepted.

God is reaching out to you through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Will you accept Him?

If so, pray this simple prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me.  Thank you for accepting me, just like I am.  I am broken and messed up.  I have been living for myself - drifting aimlessly through life.  I have trusted in myself.  
Now, I put my trust in You, Jesus.  Save me.  Deliver me from my sin and my issues.  I surrender my life to Your will and Your leadership.  I invite you into my life, to change me, speak to me, cleanse me.  Make me a new person.  Jesus, You are truly the Son of the Living God.  I put my faith solely in what you did 2000 years ago - You died for my sins.  Now, You live victorious over death, sin and hell.  Now, live in me and work Your beautiful plan in my life.

In Jesus' Name I pray, 


Wednesday, October 2, 2013


I have more yet to do.  More to accomplish.
I have more to dream.  More inside of me.
My best days are not behind me, but before me.
What I have done in the past does not compare with what I will do in the future.
As long as I have breath, I have something to say.
As long as I have strength, I have something to build.
My purpose drives me.
Everyday, it reminds me to begin again.
I have not yet realized my full potential.
I have not yet written my greatest masterpiece.

Forgetting the past, I PRESS toward this goal.  (Philippians 3:12-14)