Let's Play Catch

Splish! Splash! My kids were trying to see who could make the biggest kaboom by doing cannonballs in our neighborhood pool.  A few parents and I lounged around the pool growing tired as the day came to a close.  Dusk is one of my favorite parts of the day.  All of the neighborhood kids were having a great time playing in the pool together.

One family particularly caught my attention.  A mom and her 6 year old boy entered the pool gate together.  As soon as they found a patio table and chairs to set down their belongings, the boy leaped into the pool, jumping in as far as he could.  As soon the boy came up out of the water, the mom threw a hand ball to him.  The boy instinctively caught the ball in the air and threw it right back to his mom.  Without one word spoken, the mom and boy began to play catch.  I could tell that they do this a lot - they were catching some tough throws.  It reminded me of a golden retriever and his master playing catch in the park.

I realized that the mom had found a point of connection with her son.

He was an active boy, but maybe not a social one.  Not talkative.  He thrived on physical activity.  I have seen some 6 year olds who are still conjuring up the courage to swim alone.  They want to stay close to their parents.  I've seen other kids who don't care to go swimming at all.  They prefer to play with their ipod or their game boy.  Other kids are loud - you always know where they are because they are the loudest voice of the group.

This mom had paid attention to the unique personality and make up of her son, and she had learned to adapt to what his needs were.  I don't know if this mom was just without her husband, or if she was divorced.  I don't know if the boy had a good relationship with his dad.  I don't even know if the boy had even met his dad before.  What I did see were smiles on their faces and a sense of enjoyment and peace between them.  The mom had learned what made her son tick, and she connected with him on that level.

This touched me deeply.  

Every child is different - uniquely formed by God - for a unique purpose for Him.  Children need love. They need acceptance.  Before they need coaching and correction, they first need to feel secure.  They find that through intimate connection with their parents.  Most of us who are parents struggle to find that connection with our kids.  Many times, it is hit or miss.  We think that if we make Christmas and birthday huge, that we have met all of their desires.  After all, when we ask them what they want, they tell us TOYS! (Actually now, it's ipods and expensive stuff :))

However, what they are looking for is a way to communicate and connect with us on a deeper, more instinctive level.  For some, it's playing sports and games together.  For others, it's trips with you to the mall or the hardware store - they learn from you as they are with you.  For some, it's time with mom cooking in the kitchen or time with dad out mowing the lawn (to you it's work - to them, it's a joy.) Most kids LOVE when you put them to bed and tell them a story, ask them about their day, and share some kind words of affirmation and encouragement.  (My kids STILL like me to lay by them every night!)

Your child has a certain way they connect - based on their unique personality.  They NEED connection with you.  The best gift you can give your children is your time and your undivided attention.

Start playing catch with your child.  If you find they are not interested in that, try other things.  You will soon find something that you can do with them that builds a connection and puts a smile on their face - and your face :)