Con-fron-ta-tion.......Run away!!

Con-fron-ta-tion
noun
1. a hostile or argumentative meeting or situation between two opposing parties.

Confrontation.  yuck! what a bad word :) confrontation is awful, and is to be avoided at all costs! right?

Wrong! (I’m confronting you on this subject right now!) :)

I have learned to embrace conflict and not run from it.  The only mature way to deal with conflict is with that word: confrontation.  I have seen how when I handle conflict with confidence, clarity of purpose, and pure motive, it leads to resolution.  

See my chart below on what I believe is a healthy view of Confrontation:

Notice that all of the components in this model are positive and yet truthful.  It is based around key words like:

truth

understanding

clarity

mission

Now, look at my chart below on what happens too often in teams, families, and in relationships:

Notice some key words:

barriers

scared

wait

paralyze

pressure

aggravate

disfunction

fall out

I challenge you to embrace confrontation - it is a healthy part of building great relationships.  For a team, it is vital to reaching a level of effectiveness.  Great teams build trust, work hard and play hard together, and communicate openly and honestly.  When there is confrontation, the leader sets the tone for the conversation and reminds the team of the mission.

When preparing to confront, here are some tips to prepare:

1. Pray about it first before confronting, asking for God’s help.  Ask God to first prepare your heart.  Then, pray for the person or team that you need to confront
2. Clarify what the issue is.  What is truly important vs. what are just feelings or preference.  What is the ONE THING you want to relay?
3. Get specific.  Have examples ready.  It’s only fair to discuss an issue if you have prepared with facts to back it up.
4. Listen and be receptive.  Stephen Covey says “seek to understand first before trying to be understood.” This displays patience, maturity and genuine care for the other person.
5. Bring solutions.  Be a part of fixing the issue, not just bringing problems to the table.
6. Offer to help.  Commit to personally contributing.  Voice your loyalty and declare your commitment to the mission.  Communicate that you value the person and that you believe in them.  

So, buck up! Get courageous and confront!  :)