Test Your Boundaries

My daughter Madison and I have such a great relationship.  One thing we do together is go on walks.  

One morning, the weather outside was unusually cool for South Florida .

(60 degrees... Yeah!) We quickly bundled up, which we rarely get to do, and started off on our journey around our neighborhood.  

Our conversation centered around reflecting on lessons learned this past year.  When I asked Madison what God had taught her, she immediately recollected one moment when she was singing in front of a lot of people at our church.  My daughter is a GIFTED singer and musician.  Madison is my pride and joy.  She sings in church a lot and does such an amazing job!  She has been my personal project since she first climbed up on to our piano bench at home at age 5.  

Madison shared with me how one song she sang in church ended big and she had practiced building up at the end by hitting a high note.  She wasn’t sure of the note with it being a bit beyond her natural vocal range, but she decided to go for it.  However, in the church worship service when she sang the high note, her voice cracked.  She quickly stopped singing and let the song end.  Madison told me how awful she felt on platform with everyone looking at her.  Most people did not notice her mess up, but that moment messed her up mentally for quite a few days after.  She had thoughts of discouragement, of feeling like she is not as good as other singers who she had heard nail that high note at the climax of the song.  She started to doubt herself.  But because Madison has a solid identity in who she is, Madison slowly got back on her feet and started singing with confidence again.

Madison said “that event was a time when God was refining me.” Wow! Awesome that she would see how God used her failure as a refinement in making her better and wiser.

Madison then asked me “Dad, how do other singers know how far their voices can go? The great singers who I admire seem to sing with such confidence and sound great every time they perform.”  I explained that those great singers know the make up and the limits of the their voice.  And the only way they know that is through much trial and error.  Great singers and great performers have experimented with their voices and with their skills so much that they have developed a confidence in how far they can go, how hard they can push themselves.  I told Madison “it was good that you went for that high note.  If you don’t step out and take the risk, you would never know the full expanse of your voice.”

This is a great challenge for you and for me in our own lives:

Test Your Boundaries

Stretch out.

Take a risk.

Be willing to experiment, to try something bold that you never thought you could do.

I’m not talking about doing something unsafe or unwise.  I’m talking about thinking bigger, believing for more.  I'm challenging you to clear your schedule, start with a clean slate and have a greater vision for your life, for your future.  And to do that, you have to be willing to remove boundaries that have always been there - excuses, obstacles, self doubt, fear of failure, fear of what people will think.  

Now to clarify - there need to be SOME boundaries in your life that you respect and keep.  Healthy relationships, commitments, honoring, self discipline, wisdom, accountability.

However, when it comes to your calling and your passion, you must blow up your usual framework of rules that “I can’t do this” or “I could never accomplish that” and test yourself.  

Here are some practical tips to begin to test your boundaries:

Say “I can” and “I will”

Change your internal voice by literally saying this out loud to yourself.  Coach yourself, encourage yourself.  Your mind is powerful, it is complex.  If you can change the voice in your head to a positive word, your heart and your body will fall in line.  It is amazing how when we first say “I can do this”  and “I will try this”, we can begin to believe it.  And you cannot step out and try something bold and daring with a negative thought of “I’m not sure I can do this.”  As Yoda said in my favorite Star Wars movie, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK:

You Need a Coach

Get around positive people who will coach you, who will encourage you and push you.  I do.  And when you don’t have access to people, find Coaches on Youtube or online.  I will watch Pastors, Motivational Speakers, Coaches online speak to me.  I need that - it helps me get off my chair and get to work, get to trying bigger things.  You need that.  You won’t move on your own.  You are made to respond to a Pastor or a Coach to call you out and call you up.

Take a Risk TODAY

Whatever your passion, whatever your calling, do something TODAY towards fulfilling it.  Do something TODAY that stretches you.  Make a call, visit someone, send the e-mail, write a page for your book, write that song.  Get on the treadmill.  Drop down and give me 20! Do SOMETHING NOW.  If you are scared, join the club.  But don’t let the fear paralyze you.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you.  As Coach Tom Mullins says “Suck it up and get tough!!” 

Let me Coach you now.  You have more in you than you are showing… A LOT MORE in you.  You are only at 40% capacity.  But you will never reach that “high note” unless you go for it.  Take a deep breath and belt it! And if you crack, don’t sweat it.  That’s how you learn.  And don’t let that intimidate you to never try the “high note.”  Everyone has a “high note” to hit.  Everyone has a 3 point shot at the buzzer they were destined to make.  Keep testing your boundaries.  Keep experimenting.  If you fail, try again…and again…and again.  You will learn, you will get stronger, and braver.  You have the muscles, you just have not yet fully developed them.  You will go farther than you ever thought possible.  

Test Your Boundaries