He Got Skillz!

I LOVE Ray Allen.  He has played on NBA Championship teams like the Boston Celtics and now the Miami Heat.  In the 2013 NBA Finals, I witnessed one of the most exciting cliff hangers I have ever seen, that's including the Lakers vs. Celtics and even the Bulls in the '90s! In game 6, the San Antonio Spurs were looking like they were going to overtake the Heat and win the championship. All hope was lost.  However, in the final seconds of the 4th quarter, they passed the ball to Ray Allen, who had positioned himself at the 3 point line.  With defenders throwing up long arms to block, Ray Allen threw up a prayer - swish! He tied the game, sending the game into overtime, keeping a spark of hope alive for the Miami Heat!

Check out what I'm talking about on Youtube:

http://youtu.be/44T6FYdLcLc

I had previously just started tweeting and getting into social media (I'm a late adopter - sorry).  I remember that night that Twitter world was blowing up! (that means that a lot of people were busy sending tweets.) "Ray Allen is amazing"  "Ray Allen is my hero"  "Thank the Lord for Ray Allen".  That night, basketball fans were reminded of how valuable and clutch this quiet, veteran player was to the Miami Heat franchise.  The Miami Heat, led by LeBron James and Dwayne Wade went on to make history and beat the titan team, San Antonio Spurs.  Can you tell I'm excited? It's like it just happened yesterday :)

This year's 2013 NBA Finals re-ingnited my love for the game of basketball.  I started going on Youtube to watch older games and came across some videos of Ray Allen training.  I noticed how Ray was repeating the same drills over and over again.  Ray and his trainer even talked about how they know that Ray's sweet spot is behind the 3 point line.  So, they spend most of their time perfecting that particular shot.  Not only does Ray Allen work on his shooting technique, he practices drills on moving without the ball.  Ray works on foot work and on directional patterns on the court.  He practices moving off of a screen from another player.  His one objective is to find the most efficient way to get the ball in his hands behind the 3 point line so he can quickly release the ball to score.  Interestingly, he does NOT work on a lot of OTHER basketball skills.  He ONLY rehearses the few skills that he will use in games.

Something clicked inside of me -

I would begin to train myself in two or three moves on the basketball court, and not worry about trying to do many moves.  As I've grown older, I can't keep up with the younger guys I play with in games.  So why try? 

The next day, I went to the basketball court and started to figure out what moves I am better at, what comes natural to me.  (yes, at 40 yrs. old, I still have a little ball left in me.)

I started practicing dribbling drills and footwork drills.  I rehearsed them over and over, but with each repetition, I analyzed myself to see how I could improve.  I also used the drills to build up strength and endurance, so I could play longer, jump high, move faster.  I made a decision that in future games, I would position myself in my "hot zones" on the court and would only score using my three skill-shots.  (I won't tell you what they are, in case one day I happen to be playing against you.  I know my brother, Sam is reading my blog :))

Let's apply this lesson to our lives.

Wisdom coupled with experience shows us the power of focus.  We can accomplish more and get it done more efficiently.  Look at these thoughts:

Know Yourself

The Greek Philosopher, Socrates is known for teaching the concept, "Know Thyself."  I love that.  Be honest with yourself about what you are, and what you are not.

You can do great things, but you cannot do everything.

The sooner you can realize the gifts that you do not possess, the quicker you can fully embrace the gifts you Do possess.  In my career of music, I met many people who thought they could sing.  I was forced to sit and listen to many bad auditions.  Though I would kindly sit through the entire audition, I could tell within the first 3 seconds if they had the gift - truthfully.  After the long and painful audition was over, I had to carefully explain that there was not a spot on the vocal team for them, but that they did, in fact have a beautiful gift - they just have to discover it.  If you are clueless to what your gift is, start asking some honest questions of people around you.  If you really want to know the truth, you may have to give your friends permission to be honest with you - tell them that you appreciate them trying to help.  Prepare yourself for some pain (the truth hurts).  Then, open up your mind to some new concepts that you've never considered about yourself.  When you begin to discover the uniqueness and beauty within you, you will experience an incredible freedom!

Know What You Want

Do you really know what you want? If you got what you think you want, would you be satisfied? I love the saying,

Be careful what you wish for; it might come true.

Are you pursuing something just to impress others? Are you pursuing something out of a sense of fear? Why not re-visit your core values, and from there, identify what it is that you truly want.  Shoot for that.  Let go of other pursuits.  Get busy pursuing your gifts today: 

     Do you enjoy golf? then play more golf.

     Do you enjoy quiet? create a secret place just for you where you can escape.

     Do you enjoy guns? go shoot some guns.  (that's what my son wants to do - he's just not old enough yet. :)

Sharpen The Tool

Practice what Ray Allen practices.  Start training in your gift.  You may think that because you are gifted at something, that you should rather spend more time working on your weaknesses.  I would say:

Be Aware of Your Weaknesses

Sharpen Your Skills

Ray Allen is known as a 3 point shooter.  I've heard commentators give him nick names like "Sharp Shooter" or "Assassin." Ray has developed a reputation in the league as a specialist.  Ray makes it looks easy, but watching a few Youtube videos of his training shows me the hours of commitment and work he has invested to develop his gift.  Dr. K. Andres Ericcson states that it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice for someone to master a skill.  Ready to begin? :)

Like the NBA Star, Ray Allen, we all have greatness in us - potential that is waiting to be developed.  It's different for everyone.  And, every once in a while the clock will be winding down in the 4th quarter of our game.  The Point Guard is looking to pass the ball to you for the all-important final shot.

Are you ready to use your unique gift to send the game into overtime?

Jesus Understands You

Each of us is different.  Each of us has a different basic need and insecurity - something that we struggle with.  Each of us has a question we are always trying to answer for ourselves.

For some, it's "am I significant?"

For some, it's "am I good enough?"

For some, it's "is God real?"

Jesus loved all of His disciples, and He interacted with them differently.

Peter was the first to speak and probably the first in line.  Peter had a big personality and presence in the group.  Jesus would affirm Peter in public, and could also coach him in public.  Peter liked attention because he was always asking himself the question, "am I significant?" 

However, with John, Jesus probably addressed in private.  The only picture we have of Jesus' interaction with John is that John sat close to the Master, with his head on His shoulder.  Jesus must have known that John had some deep-rooted issues of not feeling loved, or not being accepted.  John was probably always following behind, stuck in his low self esteem.  He was asking himself, "am I good enough?"  Jesus would go to John and invite him to walk closely with Him as a sign that Jesus loved and accepted him.

My son, Michael is thoughtful and detailed.

Thomas was the only disciple that Jesus had to prove Himself to - that by touching His wounds.  I wonder if Jesus was always explaining Himself and clarifying His message to the group because He knew Thomas was sitting in the back row shaking his head skeptically.  Yet, Jesus was not frustrated with Thomas' desire to truly understand and believe (I'm sure the rest of the disciples rolled their eyes.) Jesus actually loves that we want to understand, that we want to go deeper.  The Master will lead us to a greater revelation of truth.

Peter - extravert - bold, brash, speak before thinking - Jesus could call Him out.  Jesus also knew that He needed public affirmation.

John - introvert - wounded, quiet, withdrawn - Jesus drew John close to Him.  Jesus connected with John on a more intimate level, beyond words

Thomas - logical, late adopter, skeptical - Jesus was patient with Him and explained Himself to him.  Jesus allowed Himself to be examined.  "Come and see."

My daughter, Madison is spontaneous and outgoing.

Jesus understands you, because He made you.  He knows exactly what you need, and He will connect with you on your level.  Jesus is not in a hurry.  Of all the things that Jesus could be concerned about in the universe, He is most interested in connecting with you - personally.  Jesus wants relationship - He is relational.  

If you need affirmation or coaching like Peter, Jesus will provide that.  

On the other hand, if you are like John and cringe at the thought of being called out in front of everyone, God will protect you.  God will lavish His love and embrace you.

Maybe you can relate to Thomas - you JUST need to know for sure - you need some concrete evidence - faith is difficult for you.  God will prove Himself to you over and over because He is True.

Whatever you are - whatever you need - whatever question you are asking yourself today - 

Jesus understands you. 

 He wants to connect with you today.

Take a moment to spend time with Jesus today and let Him speak to you.  He will answer your questions.

   

Brand New

Every year, I allow myself the freedom to spend money on some new clothes.  My wife has helped me realize the importance of looking modern.  ;)     So, I will go shopping with my wife who helps me pick out a few new outfits that I can utilize for the new season.

When I brought my new clothes home and hung them in my closet, I realized HOW LONG it had been since I had gone shopping.  :) There was a VAST difference between what I had been wearing, and what my new clothes looked like.  The colors were different, the cut of pants and shirts were different.  The look had entirely changed!

And, of course, the next few days, you know which clothes I wore to work? My new clothes.  I felt so good walking into meetings looking modern.  I felt taller, I felt younger, I felt skinnier :)

So, after I had worn the same shirt and pants three times in the same week :) , I thought to myself, I guess I had better wear something different.  So, I started to go through my closet to find something, but, beyond the 3 new outfits I had bought, everything else was that old and faded look...

   

It took me a couple of days, but I finally decided it was time to schedule a "cleaning day." I needed to go through my closet and purge out some of my old and faded shirts and some of my old and faded pants. So a few days later, I attacked my closet.  I saw so much stuff in my closet that I had forgotten was there.  I saw old shoes, posters, books, old belts. I found a dirty t-shirt that I had just laid down and forgotten to wash :(   there was dust and junk everywhere.  In fact, I had to schedule another day just to go through and clean and organize the room.  I did not realize what a project I had gotten myself into.  

This is a picture of the inner part of our life.  All of us have a "closet" where we keep our hidden stuff.  We can let the junk, the dust, and the dirty t-shirt collect in our space.  And because we are so busy, we let things accumulate.  We can get so used to the mess, that we let the dirty, smelly t-shirt remain on the floor to stink up all of the clothes.

There is a lesson in this, so I thought I would share it with you :) Three simple points:

1. Our "old" does not compare to God's "new"

It's amazing how we get used to and live with our junk, our addictions, and negative thinking! The truth is that we are scared of change and fearful of new things.  I know I tend to resist change, probably for fear of the unknown.  Truth be told, we are more comfortable with holding on to our security blanket of our familiar junk than reaching for something new and better.  A month ago, I would never have believed that I would be wearing the modern clothes I am now wearing.  Now, I can't imagine wearing the clothes that I USED to wear.  To understand the love, the power, the freedom of God, you have to EXPERIENCE IT FOR YOURSELF.  It's something you have to decide to do in your life.  No one can do it for you.

2. Clear out to Clean up

The day I decided I needed to get a hold of my disaster area I call a closet, I thought that in just a few minutes, I could get it in tip-top shape.  However, as I started to clean and organize, I FIRST needed to clear out the old things.  The same is true in our journey with God.  You may be wondering why you are not seeing God's promises and power showing up in your life.  Maybe you need to first look in your closet, and decide that you are going to clear out some junk, some past, some hurts, some addictions.  Better yet, ask God to show you some of the stuff you need to throw away.  You see, you have to first make room for God so bring the new, fresh things that He has for you.  

Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

Forget the former things;

    do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.

3. Let God do His thing

See the passage of scripture in Isaiah, "See, I AM doing a new thing Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" See two things in this verse:

First, Remember it is God, and God alone who can bring newness.

Don't think that you are good enough or strong enough to change on your own.  You've tried to break your addictions- but you've failed.  You've tried to stay positive through a tough season - but you've become discouraged.  You've tried to be everyone's problem solver - but you've run out of answers.  It is at the end of your ability that God is waiting to work beautifully in your life.

Secondly, Be prepared for the new thing to be a "NEW THING."

Many times when I go to the store to buy clothes, I am looking for a new pair of jeans that look like the jeans I have on :)  How crazy is that?! Don't be surprised if God does something different that will totally surprise you.  At first, you may say "God, I wouldn't pick that out for me!" But God is saying, "trust me - these jeans will look good on you." :) God knows what you need.  You may not "perceive it".  You may not recognize it at first as being a blessing.  It may not fit right at first.  But once you put it on and walk around in it, you will soon begin to see that it not only fits, it makes you look great.  In fact, when you have a new, great outfit on, you have a whole new sense of identity and confidence! It makes you feel taller, younger, and skinnier! (not always).

Maybe you want the new thing that God has for you, but you are having a hard time understanding what it is.  Maybe for you, you have always known about God, but He has been only a marginal part of your life.

Truth be told, you still have a messy, unorganized closet - full of faded, old clothes.  God has a new life He wants to give you - some new clothes that will change your whole look and feel.  And the great thing is, He will change you, fix you, and provide for all of your needs.  

But before He changes you, He simply wants you to know that He loves you.

God accepts you even with your closet.  God accepts you - the question is: will you accept Him?

To accept Him, pray this simple prayer:

Father, thank you for loving me, just as I am.  I accept your gift of love for me.  Thank you for sending your Son, Jesus Christ to die for my sins and for my closet.  Forgive me of my sin and cleanse me- from the inside out.  Make me a new person.  Take out the old and bring new life.  I trust in You alone to save me and I surrender to your purpose for my life.  

In Jesus' Name.  Amen.

Let's Play Catch

Splish! Splash! My kids were trying to see who could make the biggest kaboom by doing cannonballs in our neighborhood pool.  A few parents and I lounged around the pool growing tired as the day came to a close.  Dusk is one of my favorite parts of the day.  All of the neighborhood kids were having a great time playing in the pool together.

One family particularly caught my attention.  A mom and her 6 year old boy entered the pool gate together.  As soon as they found a patio table and chairs to set down their belongings, the boy leaped into the pool, jumping in as far as he could.  As soon the boy came up out of the water, the mom threw a hand ball to him.  The boy instinctively caught the ball in the air and threw it right back to his mom.  Without one word spoken, the mom and boy began to play catch.  I could tell that they do this a lot - they were catching some tough throws.  It reminded me of a golden retriever and his master playing catch in the park.

I realized that the mom had found a point of connection with her son.

He was an active boy, but maybe not a social one.  Not talkative.  He thrived on physical activity.  I have seen some 6 year olds who are still conjuring up the courage to swim alone.  They want to stay close to their parents.  I've seen other kids who don't care to go swimming at all.  They prefer to play with their ipod or their game boy.  Other kids are loud - you always know where they are because they are the loudest voice of the group.

This mom had paid attention to the unique personality and make up of her son, and she had learned to adapt to what his needs were.  I don't know if this mom was just without her husband, or if she was divorced.  I don't know if the boy had a good relationship with his dad.  I don't even know if the boy had even met his dad before.  What I did see were smiles on their faces and a sense of enjoyment and peace between them.  The mom had learned what made her son tick, and she connected with him on that level.

This touched me deeply.  

Every child is different - uniquely formed by God - for a unique purpose for Him.  Children need love. They need acceptance.  Before they need coaching and correction, they first need to feel secure.  They find that through intimate connection with their parents.  Most of us who are parents struggle to find that connection with our kids.  Many times, it is hit or miss.  We think that if we make Christmas and birthday huge, that we have met all of their desires.  After all, when we ask them what they want, they tell us TOYS! (Actually now, it's ipods and expensive stuff :))

However, what they are looking for is a way to communicate and connect with us on a deeper, more instinctive level.  For some, it's playing sports and games together.  For others, it's trips with you to the mall or the hardware store - they learn from you as they are with you.  For some, it's time with mom cooking in the kitchen or time with dad out mowing the lawn (to you it's work - to them, it's a joy.) Most kids LOVE when you put them to bed and tell them a story, ask them about their day, and share some kind words of affirmation and encouragement.  (My kids STILL like me to lay by them every night!)

Your child has a certain way they connect - based on their unique personality.  They NEED connection with you.  The best gift you can give your children is your time and your undivided attention.

Start playing catch with your child.  If you find they are not interested in that, try other things.  You will soon find something that you can do with them that builds a connection and puts a smile on their face - and your face :)

 

Reach Higher

Most people stop dreaming, stop growing and stop reaching at some point in their life.  It may be that they reached a certain point of success and grew comfortable with what became familiar to them.  Or, it may be that they tried something new and failed miserably.  So, they lost the will or confidence to try again.  There are some who have never even dared to think beyond their current reality.  It could be that they were discouraged or intimidated by family or friends early in life.  Tragically, they have accepted their life to be reduced to surviving and enduring.

Whatever group you associate with, you may be at a place where you have plateaued.  You are  managing the same routine.  Everything in your week is predictable.  No surprises. You look forward to when the day ends and you can go home to a hot dinner.  The most exciting event in your week is when the new tv series comes on Thursdays at 8 PM.  This is NOT all that life has to offer.

Real living begins with the chase.  Adventure is found on the journey.  Boundaries are discovered by testing the limits.

Are you living?


If you feel uncomfortable by this challenge, then I am glad.  :)

For me, I know that I need a gentle jolt and a tender tug from others every once in a while to help me break out of a rut and think riskier.  Most of the time, I don't self-initiate this kind of thinking for myself.-and I definitely don't naturally want to push myself to "attack" life in this manner.  Self discipline can be hard for me, especially in the weak areas of my life.

I need a coach.


When I was in school, I had all kinds of coaches.  School teachers, athletic coaches, piano teachers, youth pastors, parents, guidance counselors.  I had role models that I looked up to.  I had older people who took an interest in me.  Some of these coaches I loved.  Some I did not like.  At the time, I thought that they pushed me too hard, or demanded too much.  All of them shaped my life.  From some, I learned character, commitment, and how to treat people.  From others, I learned that I had more in me than I thought.  From some, I learned WHAT NOT TO DO - these were invaluable lessons for me, as I would learn to avoid their mistakes and weaknesses.

In my current stage of life, I have assumed the role of coach and mentor for so many.  However, I am so keenly aware of the need for continual coaching in my own life.  The more I learn, the more I realize  I DO NOT know.  I see the need to find others who will coach me.  Those who will encourage me and also (and more importantly) correct me, challenge me, evaluate me, and hold me accountable to my mission and objectives.

One discipline that I have developed is self-coaching: reading and studying every day.  Taking classes and being in growth programs.  I have learned to journal, to reflect, to ask good questions.  I have learned to pray differently and to memorize scripture and good quotes.  I have learned to dedicate more time to preparing for every event, meeting, and speaking engagement I have scheduled.  However, there is nothing that replaces having a coach who will speak truth and will give you honest observations from their perspective.

If you are at a plateau, and you want to reach higher for your dreams, start with inviting a few trusted people to speak into your life.  Before you meet with them, develop a few honest questions to ask them about yourself.  Prepare yourself emotionally to be open and receptive.  Humble yourself...but also encourage yourself.  Believe me - you're going to need it!  Let me in encourage you - the process is worth it! Embrace it.  Thank the people for their investment.  Give yourself permission to process through all of these new thoughts and perspectives.  Be pliable and unguarded.  Admit that you have some things that are broken or unfinshed.  Know that God wants to do something fresh and beautiful in your life.

Your best days are not behind you! Your future is bright!

Reach Higher -

Matt

Lead through Influence

It is human nature to strive for position.  We think it will fulfill our need for recognition and significance.  We are convinced that we cannot truly accomplish something until we are given full authority.  By having the official title, we think people will then listen to us and follow our lead.

In striving for position, we focus our energy on getting promoted.  We try to make a good impression on the top leader by building a relationship with them and also by showing that we can get things done.  In order to do that, we sometimes bypass or ignore the people working around us.  By the time the position finally comes, we then wonder why people won't respond to our leadership.  We have not taken the time to nurture those relationships and earn their trust. 

I look back in my first years as a young leader making these mistakes.  My motives were well-intended.  I am a passionate, driven person that wants to accomplish great things.  I feel a sense of expectation on my life as I have had people invest in me.   Growing up, I was inspired by leaders who were charismatic and driven, and I wanted to model them.

The angle of position that I could not see being in the audience were the responsibilities attached to it. When you are given position, a group of people are suddenly putting their trust in you - in fact, they are loaning you their trust for a time.  These people automatically have great expectations of you (hopefully clearly stated....but usually not.) They expect you to care about what is important to them.  They expect you to fix problems, especially people problems.

What I soon found out with position is: 

With authority comes much responsibility

The leader is  responsible for the success of the organization.  The leader is responsible both for the big events and for the small details.  The leader is responsible for coming up with the vision AND making sure everyone knows and can communicate the vision.  The leader must work the hardest, have the greatest faith, always display maturity, have the best attitude, and sacrifice the most.

Here is what I have learned:

First lead by influence

Don't wait for a position before you begin - make an impact today.  Start leading today.  The great thing about not yet having a position is that you can "lead" through influence, without carrying all of the responsibility.  Right now, you can experiment and take some risks without fearing the consequences of failure or disappointing people.  After all, you shouldn't seek position anyway.  People dislike hierarchy and entitlement attitude.   However, people are inspired by individuals who are passionate, authentic and who show courage by taking initiative.  In fact, I think the best way a person can lead is by not saying one word - no speech.  They simply begin doing what they feel called to do, what they are passionate about.  Others watch, and some eventually start to follow.  

Conclusion: we certainly need great people in leadership positions.  But wise leaders learn quickly that leading through influence is much stronger than leading by title and authority. 

Challenge: Begin leading by working the hardest, showing commitment, going above and beyond.  Serve others on your team and help promote them.  When the time is right, step out and take a risk.  Go first.  Be courageous.  Then, watch others slowly begin to join you.  If your vision is clear and it takes everyone to a better place, people will begin to follow.

Who said leadership is lonely? :)

Vision Drives me

I read some wonderful words this morning from John Maxwell's devotional, A Leader's Heart that inspired me.  He said this:

"One of the most valuable benefits of vision is that it acts like a magnet-attracting, challenging, and uniting people.  The greater the vision, the more winners it has the potential to attract.  The more challenging the vision, the harder the participants fight to achieve it."

Wow.  That is mind blowing to me.  When I think of getting people on board to follow a vision or to serve with me, I try to make it easy for them -  the path of least resistance.  People are busy, burdened and distracted.  If I stand a chance at catching them, it's going to be because I made it simple and accessible for them.

However, a tested leader and author challenges my thinking.  He suggests otherwise.

People are attracted to greatness.  They are inspired by a vision which calls them up to something big and meaningful.  When they see a vision of what could be, they are willing to commit themselves fully and sacrifice much.

Not everyone will answer the call.  Not all will get in line and enlist.  Many will wait and watch.  Others will mock - that's the easy thing to do.

The author, Maxwell says that one attribute of a vision that others can buy into is that "it meets the needs of others." In other words, the vision is more than just about the leader.  It's about helping people and making life better for others.

For me, this reinforces the power of vision.  Busy, overwhelmed people will sign up for a vision that they can see, hope for, and benefit from.  People want to be part of something bigger than themselves,  a legacy that spans beyond the here and now.  Quality people count it an honor to sacrifice for something meaningful.

As I reflect on the vision that drives me, I go back to a clear calling in my life to lead a pioneering work for Christ Fellowship in Martin County.  My vision is:

To bring the mission and impact of Christ Fellowship to Martin County.  The mission of Christ Fellowship is: to impact our world with the love and message of Jesus; everyone, everyday, everywhere.

That is my passion.  That still gets me up in the morning.  That keeps me doing the hard things and leading from the front.

To accomplish that, I need:

• Personal growth (Integrity, Character, skills, insight)
• People who will join me - commitment, leadership, complimentary skill sets
• Resources - facilities, finances, tools
• Wisdom (from God and from wise counselors)
• Preparation - networking within Martin County, strategy, communication to team, evaluation so we can improve and become more effective
• Focus (requires pruning and prioritizing)
• Energy (requires health and honoring the Sabbath)

Palm Sunday, 2013 at South Fork High School

My family worshipping and leading, beside me and behind me

So, let me challenge you to answer the vision question for yourself.

• What is your vision?
• Is it bigger than you?
• Does it span beyond just the here and now?
• Does it benefit others?
• What will you need to do in order to accomplish your vision?

Take a moment to search your heart.   Draw from your past and your life.  Seek the heart of God and allow Him to reveal His great purpose and vision for your life.  He is waiting to show You a great vision of what could be!

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.  Lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct Your path.